i just . .

Lavi : "bgini terus.. ini salah.."
Lanna : "sudahlah,, take it easy.."
Lavi : "sedih.."
Lanna : "jangan cengeng, apaan sihhh.."
Lavi : ",,,"
Lanna : "agh ayo senang2 saja. masih banyak lagipula yang harus diurus."

Lavi : "but, i miss him . . ."
Lanna : " . . ."

Lanna pun sampai terdiam. ya, Lanna setuju..

tiba2 terdengar,, memecah keheningan malam.menyibak beban yang penuh peluh,saat itu.

***

you say I only hear what I want to.
you say I talk so all the time so.

and I thought what I felt was simple,
and I thought that I don't belong,
and now that I am leaving,
now I know that I did something wrong 'cause I missed you.
yeah, I missed you.

and you say I only hear what I want to:
I don't listen hard,
I don't pay attention to the distance that you're running
or to anyone, anywhere,
I don't understand if you really care,
I'm only hearing negative: no, no, no.

so I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up,
and this woman was singing my song:
the lover's in love, and the other's run away,
the lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay.

some of us hover when we weep for the other who was
dying since the day they were born.
well, this is not that:
I think that I'm throwing, but I'm thrown.

and I thought I'd live forever, but now I'm not so sure.

you try to tell me that I'm clever,
but that won't take me anyhow, or anywhere with you.

you said that I was naive,
and I thought that I was strong.
I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave."
but now I know that I was wrong, 'cause I missed you.

you said, "You caught me 'cause you want me and one day you'll let me go."
"you try to give away a keeper, or keep me 'cause you know you're just so scared to lose.
and you say, "stay."

you say I only hear what I want to.

***
apa.. apa ini..? tidak, tidak mengerti,, tidak ingin lelah,tidak ingin ini,tidak ingin itu. hanya rindu kehangatan masa kemarin, disaat hujan terasa riang, panas terasa rindang. bukan apa2,mungkin hanya diriku sendiri yang aku cari. mana? seperti hilang begitu saja. hilang tertutup gelak tawa dan senyuman tiap detiknya. Lavi, bahkanLanna berpikir.

ah.. apapun itu,, jawaban akan segera datang bukan?
hanya tunggu angin meniupkannya..
menghembuskan kembali kesejukkan yang selama ini seperti jauh,walaupun dekat..
hanya saja ia seharusnya membuka matanya, membuka batinnya..
ada, disana . .